I Am A Misfit

For years I thought I didn’t fit in, but I still went with the flow.
I had all these unanswered questions about life, ever since I can remember.

I remember being 8 years old and sitting in class, wondering, isn’t there more? I don’t really want to learn about multiplication I want to learn about life and where earth came from.

But I kept quiet and did what I was supposed to.

I remember at one-point band was so cool… until it wasn’t. And I better not let anyone know that my creativity was important to me or else I may be alone in this weird world.

I remember in my first taste of spirituality at 15 years old, I was shunned for asking too many questions.

I never felt like I fit in, so I made myself fit in. When all my friends would go out partying and I would think… okay but I just kind of want to sit inside? I would think something was wrong with me and I better not say that out loud. Gosh, if anyone knew I was such a weirdo, I may not have any friends!

I sat in college course rooms wondering, is this it?! Am I going to study these mediocre classes + some random electives that my university saw fit… get a job and then die?! But this is what I am “supposed to do.”

This is no one’s fault but my own. I gave into the societal norms and was placed into social groups from the time I was 8 and thought, okay better just go with all of this.

I was always in my own head, but I wouldn’t dare tell anyone this because what if that was wrong?

I was a misfit. Until I changed my mind.

I can’t place my finger on it; but there was a time, a moment if you will, that I decided I would fit in no more. There is more to this life and bring it at me. And if I want to sit on my couch and read or write rather than go out to a party, that is so okay. I am me, the only one and I only get to do me once. So let’s do it. Let’s do what we feel is right rather than what we are told is right.