Being an empath is a major blessing in life. You have a wildly unique way to feel into what others are going through. You are highly sensitive to trauma, grief, and sadness around you. It is a gift to be able to feel into someone else in such a personal way. But if you are not careful as an empath it can be a very dangerous gift too.

Maybe you aren’t totally sure if you are an empath? Let’s dive into some empath traits to see if you fall into this category. 

Empaths are…

Highly sensitive people: you have a BIG heart and a lot to give and you wear your emotions on your sleeve. Crying is a good release for you but maybe you’ve heard that you are “too sensitive” or to “toughen up a little bit.” 

Usually a little more introverted: you take on a lot of energy from other people so you like to recharge alone. Social situations can be a bit draining becuase you take on a lot of emotion surrounding you. 

Easily emotionally overwhelmed: you find that you pile on a lot of emotion internally and from external sources and if you don’t pay attention, it can all build up into an emotional explosion… note: crying for what feels like no reason. You can also get easily overwhlemed in relationships, you tend to give, give, give and take on all of the things and forget about YOU. 

Empaths have beautiful big hearts and have a lot to give. But as you can see it is really easy for empaths to feel really emotionally drained, you are taking on a lot of energy that isn’t meant to be taken on as your own. And this is where the danger lies in being an empath: 

Other people’s stories are not meant to be taken on as your own. 

Being an empath is a beautiful gift, you feel in a really big way. You have the ability to create a space for someone to be vunerable and real because you get it. You also have a really big light to shine, meaning your heart wants to lead. In order for your heart to lead you have to learn to not take on other stories as your own, to replinish your energy and to listen to what you need first. 

So how do you listen to other’s pain and suffering without taking them on as your own?

As an empath you listen to stories with such grace and then you really feel what they are going through. You are probably really visual and can actually place yourself in that person’s shoes. You can create that story as your own reality. Which causes danger because you can create massive fear stories by doing this. 

Say you know someone who has suffered the sudden loss of a parent, you really feel that. You feel what it would feel like to lose your own parent suddenly, you may even visualize that and get really emotional. Which then spirals into you not being able to quiet that story, you are consumed with that story each day. You have created a massive fear story around something that has not happened to you.

“Worry is using the imagination poorly.”

This story was not meant to scare you, worry you, or cause pain in your own life. This story is just life. People around you will always have pain, just as you will always have pain. But the pain around you cannot stop you from living. You have such a light to shine, others need that in their life, especially in times of pain.

And don’t stop your life’s celebrations for what is happening around you either. Let your joy ripple into other people’s joy. Your celebration may bring a person peace that day who really needed it. It feels comfortable for you to feel into the pain because it is how your empathic mind has been wired to operate but I challenge you to use that gift for good instead of for suffering.

Your immense joy and peace causes a ripple effect in this world. 

So, now to the how to…

You’ve heard a story that you are urged to take on. Your fear voice whispers, “if we take this on we will be prepared for the worst.”
But now you know better. You know that you could prepare for the worst and create a worry-fueled situation or you can use your light for good.

1 | Feel into it, don’t ignore your gifts as an empath. Feel for that person, honor your emotions, resistance only creates more fear internally. So allow yourself to feel and acknowledge why this is sad for the other person.
2 | Support. Give your support to that person, send them love and strength. Use your big heart to lift them up.
3 | Let it go. Let go of the idea that this is you, don’t create the false reality
4| Gratitude and Love. Be grateful for what you do have, affirm that in a way that feels really good to you. Maybe that is creating some extra space for writing gratitude in your life every morning, maybe that means expressing extra gratitude towards someone in the form of a gift. Celebrate what you have, spread your own joy around like confetti. Your clock doesn’t stop ticking because of someone else’s pain, and guess what… their clock doesn’t stop ticking either. They need your joy now more than ever to not be sucked into the depths of suffering.

How to replish your energy

We talked about being emotionally drained earlier. You know that feeling after a big social event, where you just want to be alone. Or even that feeling you get once a month for what feels like no reason. You just want to lay in bed and not talk to anyone or just veg out on the couch and be numb.

Your energy as an empath is very sensitive, just like you are! You should protect it and come up with some ways that you can easily replenish it. This is key to feeling really really good as an empath. 

First things first for protecting it – remember those steps in the above section. Feel it, give support, let it go, give gratitude and love. Get that process down! If you can start to process other people’s emotions in a way that supports you, you can serve from a greater place of love. 

Next, find your re-charge sweet spot! 

You don’t want to hit that point of completely emotionally depleted or drained. So you need to create some daily, weekly, and secret weapon re-chargers! You may still go to events that are draining or find yourself tired after a long week and you should have processes for those as well.

So how do you find those?

Start with what brings you peace, some of these should be your daily non negotiables. Maybe you aren’t sure what brings you that peace, and I can’t decide that for you but here are some ideas to get your mind running and to try!

Detox bath
Meditation
Nap
Deep breathing exercise
Shower
Sauna
Soft music
Journal
Write a story about it
A favorite movie
A walk
Sitting outside in nature
Toes in the grass
Face mask
Snuggle your kiddos (or pup if you’re a dog momma)

The list can go on and on…

Think of the activies that sooth you, make you feel like you are truly in the present moment. Think of the things that can clear your mind from what has happened and bring you into immense gratitude of what you are surrounded by. 

Take Empath Action!

Now it is time to take empath action!!! Stop letting the stories of others hold you back in life. As an empath your comfort zone most frequently shows up as a people pleaser. Meaning you want to serve others first, and you forget about you. Your comfort zone says, we can wait to deal with our stuff because person A,B, and C need me right now!

You’ve heard the saying fill your cup up first but you don’t really know how to. Here is your chance! Fill your cup up with your new found recharge tools and by serving people with your unique empathic tools without taking on the story as your own.

Your dreams derseve to manifest into reality! 

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