7 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For

Do you find yourself over apologizing?
Living apologetic for every move you make, pre apologizing for every potential mistake, and apologizing for things that aren’t even yours to carry…

“I’m sorry.”

I used to way overuse this phrase. I call this a people pleaser side effect. We (over)use the phrase “I’m sorry” for a lot of reasons, but I think the one that outshines the others when we are looking at times apologies aren’t one hundred percent necessary, is to keep other people comfortable, safe, and happy.

Don’t get me wrong here forgiveness is powerful, personal responsibility is powerful, but when you overuse the phrase it begins to lose its meaning. I was the girl that said “I’m sorry” for saying “I’m sorry” too much. So much of my excessive apologies came down to being afraid of owning my truth, standing powerfully in what I know to be true for me. And guess what… anyone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.

And the hilariously backwards quality this word has started to take on, is people using it when someone should be apologizing to them. There are a few theories as to why we do this, one being that we have the subconscious idea that we may have done something to cause the effect of what the person is doing. Or maybe we just believe that we can apologize for them.

There is absolutely a time and a place for “I’m sorry.” And the overabundance of the word can numb people out to what you are saying.

Here are seven things that I have absolutely committed to quit apologizing for (and maybe you should too):

Being emotional

We all have them. Some of us are equipped with more sensitivity than others, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that nor is it grounds for apology. Emotion is meant to flow through us, not to be pushed down or ignored.

When you fully believe something that others may not

Your beliefs and values are all you have, stand strong in them and know that not everyone will agree with you, even if you’re the nicest person on earth, and yes… even if you apologize.

Don’t conform to someone else’s normal in hope of their comfort, it’s more confusing than comfortable if you can’t decide where you stand. If everyone agreed on everything in the world, human life would be pretty bland. Humans learn and thrive through polarity, own it sister!

Telling someone the truth

Your truth is your truth. Evidence is what backs up truth, apologies create distortion.

By apologizing for what you felt was true you create a distorted sense of reality for people. They don’t understand what you stand for and therefore your boundaries will be broken, and you’ll probably find yourself frustrated and like you’re not being heard.

When you say “no” to something

No means no. If it’s not a full body heck yes, this is what I want, then it’s no and that’s okay. Creating boundaries around the things you don’t want isn’t disloyal, it’s powerful.

There is no need for (every) “no” to be followed with an I’m sorry. It is safe to stand firm in your “no” EVEN IF it’s not what the other person wanted to hear. Their experience is not your responsibility. 

Doing what you want

Phew, if I had a dollar for every time I went out with friends even though all I wanted to do was stay in bed… When I would finally stand up to what I really wanted to do instead of what I thought I should do, I backed it up with empty apologies.

Not to mention trying to find a career that other people would approve of instead of following what really lights up my soul!

You do you, and when you do, you can create a ripple effect of joy in the world. No apologies needed.

Asking for help

I know you CAN do it yourself but sometimes you just need a little extra support.

We all need help every now and again. It doesn’t make you a burden, it makes you human.

Something out of your control

Does this need explanation? It’s out of your control, what can you do?! An apology isn’t going to change that.

And bonus... stop saying sorry for saying sorry!
It’s just counterproductive. 

Own your power, own your truth. You will thrive and the humans around you will experience such ease when you embody your full truth.